GRACEFUL: Story of a Vampire
by Silviael
Summary: A vampire employed by the Volturi is puzzled by the Cullens and decides to follow them to see if their lifestyle is worth a try.
1. Prologue: Thoughts of Rebellion

**AN: This is loosely based on Twilight and New Moon, neither of which I own. It's probably a good thing I don't own them, because they wouldn't be a tenth as unbelievable as they are. Still... Edward Cullen... lol. Anyway. The Cullens don't come into the prologue, but if I get encouragement to keep going they'll be in the first or second chapter. I've seen a LOT of fanfics based on Edward and Bella (hey I'm writing one too, so it's not a bad thing) but I just had an idea: what if a vampire in the crowd at the courtroom in Italy was intrigued by the Cullens? How would they react?**

**Quote of the Prologue: I pretend to go on like everything's ok, but I feel an emptiness inside like something has died.**

GRACEFUL: Story of a Vampire

Prologue: Thoughts of Rebellion

My name is Maliana.

Literally translated it means "grace." When I was born in seventeenth century Italy, my adopted parents were aristocrats. They couldn't have a child of their own and decided to adopt a girl. My original name was Grace; when I was adopted at the age of four they wanted something more "unique," so I became Maliana, or Mal for short.

My name is ironic in so many ways now, four centuries later. I was anything but graceful in my human years and I often joked that my parents jinxed me by insisting on such a meaning for me. Now I am one of the undead and I am often envied, I guess, by other girls for my grace. Also, the prefix –mal is used as something evil, or something downward of the average. I am both.

Most vampires are beautiful. Where I live now, in Volterra, everyone surrounding me is a sight for sore eyes. I'm not. I'm not ugly… but I'm your average person on the street. I must've been hideous when I was changed, for this to be an improvement.

I hate my nutrition source. Every time I'm about to drink from a human I'm reminded of everyone I knew in my former life. I can't help imagining that it's them I'm killing. Still, it's not like I can help it. There is no alternative.

At least, I believed that until this morning, when that strange coven came to court- with a _human_! The vampire girl… Alice, I believe she was called… had the most peculiar shade of brown in her eyes. They were almost my original eye color.

Even stranger was their protection of the human girl with such an appetizing smell. She reminded me of myself in that other life when she tripped on the tiles. I envied her the vampire at her side, ready to catch her.

I couldn't concentrate on guard duty last night. Jane reprimanded me most firmly, under Marcus's order. I'm used to it- I'm not quite up to their standards. The only reason I'm still in this foul existence is because of my gift.

What would it be like, I wondered, to live the way that coven does? To be able to establish a home, and accomplish something in the human world. To reduce the monster inside of yourself.

It's certainly something to think about. Hm.

**AN: What do you think? I'm probably going to try and go ahead with it. So click that famous little button and tell me what you thought.**

**--Silviael**


	2. Reflections and Promises

**Disclaimer: I own Mal, but I don't own the Cullens, Bella, Aro, Marcus, Felix, Gianna, or Heidi. Kudos to Stephenie Meyer for her brain.**

GRACEFUL: Story of a Vampire

Chapter Two: Reflections

Quote of the Chapter: I don't believe in this world anymore.

"Maliana," Aro purred, gliding towards me. I stood as straight as possible. He reached out and put a hand on my shoulder. I stood his touch, barely. His face became very unhappy.

"The Cullens intrigued you, my dear." It was a statement, not a question. I nodded. "Well, do not worry. We'll feed again soon, and you'll be cured of your folly."

I forced a smile. My _folly? _Wishing to be a… well, I can't say a human being, but at least not a monster. That's _folly_? "Yes, Aro."

"That's my girl." He smiled at me and ruffled my mouse brown hair, then slithered gracefully away to learn his other employees' thoughts.

All of a sudden I heard a cry and looked down from my perch. I flinched. Below me in the abandoned court, Felix pounced on a child no older than eleven. My dead heart beat once for the young girl.

I'd long since given up trying to reason with myself. I was a creature who lived off of others' deaths. Now… now there was a slim hope of redemption. A chance for a different life.

I heard the child's cries fade as her life was drained from her. I watched, eyes glazed, not really seeing. I hated it. I hated the deaths. This terrible, beautiful city reeked of corruption. The Volturi were falling fast on their own mistakes. They were too controlling. Today's society wasn't so accepting of dictatorship, even if the dictators are too powerful to comprehend.

The Volturi's world was collapsing in on itself. It wasn't so obvious to the visitors. But with each human citizen killed was another chance of mass rebellion. The human population of Volterra was waning fast. With every tourist trap, more of the citizens of Volterra were caught and accidentally killed. It would be harder to keep this place's secrets hidden if we had to go scouting other food sources.

I heard rather than saw Felix coming up the stairs, wiping the blood from his mouth, his eyes redder than I'd ever seen them; they were almost maroon, they were so dark and bright.

"Mal," he laughed, draping an arm around me. "How are we tonight? Still dreaming?"

I shrugged him off. "I never dream." It was true enough. I missed sleep more than any other aspect of my human life.

"Of course not," he laughed at me. Then he saw Heidi walking down the hallway and changed targets.

"Heidi," he murmured, snaking his arm around her waist. I shook my head. Some people just don't ever change.

And since we're immortal, "ever" is a long time to stay the same.

This brought back my previous thoughts. I can still change.

What would they do without me, I wondered. Would Marcus' power be strong enough to function, without mine to strengthen it?

It didn't matter anymore. It was time for me to go.

I didn't have any belongings. I wore my mother's diamond-studded cross necklace around my neck. My clothing would suffice. I could pick up food along the way.

And so I smiled at the receptionist. "Taking a walk," I whispered. The night was silent and she bowed her head respectfully.

I walked for a few moments, collecting myself for a long run. I stared into the glassy pool, lit by starlight, the moon reflecting on it in ripples from where a frog jumped onto the surface from its lily pad.

Could I drink from a frog? I wondered. I'll have to ask.

I looked at myself in the dark water. I swore that the next time I looked in a mirror, my eyes would be golden.

I inhaled and shut my eyes, using my talent.

**AN: DumdumDUM! And what is her talent? To find out I need at least two reviews my friends :) See that button on the left? Yep, click it or Jane's going to visit you. LOL just kidding, but if you review me (good or bad) I'll be your very best friend.**


	3. Tapestry

**AN: Thanks to all reviewers. Bluh, I'm tired, so this note's short. Without further ado, I do not own Twilight or New Moon. (what? it KIND of rhymes...)**

**Quote of the Chapter: Take a walk in my shoes. I bet you'll fall on the first step.**

GRACEFUL: Story of a Vampire

Chapter Three: Tapestry

I thought hard, remembering the male vampire's scent. Remembering his coppery hair, his night-dark eyes, his name- Edward. Edward Cullen.

_Edward_, I called in my mind. _Edward, where are you_?

This was fairly easy; there weren't many of us that had that distinctive smell, the smell of animal blood instead of human. And Edward had recently fed, so his scent- the call of his strong mind- was easier to catch onto.

I tugged at the edges of the threads, sifting amongst them. No… that was a girl… Tanya… I needed to look south.

I could feel myself getting closer and closer. It was like that game I used to play as a child- hot and cold. I was getting warmer.

All of a sudden I found him. I found such a surge of love it was impossible not to be dragged into his eyes.

I grimaced. This was never a pleasant sensation. Edward and I were looking together at a small, worn figure's face. It was that human. Beth? Brandy?

"Bella…" Edward whispered, stroking her hair. I frowned. All right, all right, enough with the lovey-dovey stuff. Where are you, Edward? Show me where you are.

Edward turned his head and gazed out at the window at the scenery whizzing past. I watched with him, my eyes melting into his, looking for a sign.

"Edward?" An unfamiliar blonde vampire- she was as beautiful as Heidi- said. She was driving. "To our house or hers?"

"Hers," Edward said heavily, leaning down and planting a gossamer kiss on Bella's head. His senses were mine; I could feel the softness of Bella's hair underneath my lips. I was uncomfortable.

He looked back up at the blonde just in time for me to see a sign ahead. It said,

_Welcome to Forks. Enjoy your stay!_

I withdrew from Edward's eyes, settling back into myself with a jerk. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, making sure it was mine and not his. Sometimes body parts were changed in the switch. Luckily, I was getting better at this. It had been over a century since I looked down to see that I had one burly leg with jeans, and one thin leg with a flowered skirt.

If it happened again, Caius wouldn't be there to help me become myself again.

Oh well. It wouldn't happen again.

I got up. I knew the Cullens were from America. I knew they were currently in Forks from Edward's sight. It was time to board a plane and wing it from there. I was good at doing that.

I stood lithely, not sparing another glance towards my reflection in the pool. I was going to change the way I saw the world. I was going to look through golden eyes instead of red.

For now though I simply wore blue contacts, making my eyes a strange lilac hue. I hated the contacts. With my sensitive nerves I could feel the little discs wedged in my eyes. It wasn't comfortable at all, yet we were required to wear them on the streets of Volterra.

I smelled bread baking in a pizza parlor I walked past, and my heart filled with longings for home. I was Italian by birth, but I didn't look it. I never had. My skin had always been pale and clammy; my hair, which should've been thick and dark and curly, was thin, straight, and silvery blonde.

I didn't have any money at all. The Volturi kept their employees very dependent on them. Therefore I managed to hide in the luggage compartment on the plane from Rome; most humans would die from air deprivation. I didn't need air.

I wished I could sleep these long hours away. I looked in people's suitcases to amuse myself. I knew I shouldn't, but really, it wasn't as if I was stealing anything. Some people had suspicious-looking items. I didn't care. The little things intrigued me, though. I loved seeing pictures. I came across several wallets and took only a small percentage of the money inside for myself- just in case. I only stole from those suitcases that had expensive designer clothing, though. They didn't need it.

I grabbed a pair of sunglasses to hide my eyes and a new change of clothing from a girl's wardrobe- she had four different suitcases filled with clothes, and she was only staying a week and a half. I figured she could spare one outfit.

We were ten minutes away from landing when I came across a suitcase thrown in the corner of the compartment. My dead heart warmed slightly as I saw the nametag- Alice Cullen. Connecting flight to Seattle, Washington.

I grinned. God was on my side.

**AN: I know it's a little short- sorry. The next segment is going to be long, though, and I would rather have two chapters (one short, one medium-length) than have one uber long chapter and not post anything for forever. So... thanks for reading and I hope you liked it! **

**--Silviael**


	4. Hypothermia

**AN: Peyton818 is my new favorite person. Why? Because she is the ONLY ONE who reviewed last chapter. The other two had ten between them. I don't write for reviews; I'm not going to get on my knees and beg. If I had no reviews I'd keep writing, for the sake of writing. BUT reviews are encouraging.**

**That note aside, thanks again to peyton818 and enjoy the next chapter, folks!**

**DISCLAIMER: The usual. Too lazy to type it out creatively.**

**Quote of the Chapter: Now I'm on my own side. It's better than being on your side.**

GRACEFUL  
Chapter Four: Hypothermia

I love the snow. It's the only thing as cold as me.

I danced under it, spinning in graceful circles and laughing. I saw several people eyeing me- some nervously, some with a smile. I didn't care either way. I'd never felt so free.

Even though I could feel my thirst starting to gnaw at me; even though I had to resist the luscious scent of every human walking by. Even though this went against the last few centuries of life I'd had. I still danced in the snow. I still felt like a new person.

I hadn't killed anyone in three weeks. That was an impressive record. I felt cleaner, somehow, as though my mercy and restraint was purifying the last years of blood and gore.

Once I'd landed in Detroit, Michigan (that name just rolled off my tongue!) I'd decided that I'd rather run all the way to Seattle instead of stowing away on another plane. I hadn't stolen enough money to buy a plane ticket. I could see the country, I thought jubilantly. I'd travel night and day, pausing only to check through my vision and see that all was going well. So far, it was perfect.

I was far into Montana, almost into the narrow strip of Idaho. Then, on to Washington!

It was getting colder every mile north. I'd seen many beautiful red-and-green lights, some white, outside houses, and evergreen trees hung with fine ornaments in windows. It must be that Christmas holiday, I mused, feeling very old. Back in my day we celebrated it by praying. What's going on with these lights and carols? It's so… fake.

Still, it made for interesting traveling. I rated each house I came across on a scale of one to ten to keep me amused.

It took another two days of almost continuous running to arrive in Seattle. I breathed in lungfuls of air, sighing. Finally, I was almost there.

I spent the night in Seattle, relaxing. I got a hotel room with the money I stole. I watched a video- really, humans these days!- and reclined on the sofa, playing games on a gadget called a PS3. It was amazing. I'd heard of this Play Station, but I didn't realize there were only three of them in the entire world. This one must be very valuable. What an interesting idea, to put it in a hotel room where anyone could steal it. Maybe it was like a game- pass the PS3.

Maybe human integrity has increased since I was one.

I laughed at the notion. Humans will never really change.

When I went downstairs in the early morning to check out I noticed a breakfast buffet. A trace of longing stirred in me. I wished I could still eat food. In my human life I'd never had any of the delicacies that are so common today. I wondered how a Belgian waffle would taste, or a cream cheese Danish. I assumed they must be wonderful, because the humans kept coming back for more.

And the humans never ended! In Volterra the population is very controlled. I must've seen a hundred people pass through this room as I surfed the "Internet" (another beautiful contraption, I quite liked it). A hundred people! That was as many as was in my village so long ago.

So odd that they all gathered here together, like bees to honey. Didn't they have somewhere to be? Some task more worthwhile than eating more food than they were supposed to eat in a day?

This jolted me. I'd let myself relax far too long. I needed to get back on the track again.

I shut the "laptop" and turned it in to the concierge. He smiled at me and said a little speech about customer service and thank-you, then turned aside and started filing papers. A busy man.

I forced my impatient self to walk as far as the woods, and sat down on a tree stump, pulling out a dusty pocket mirror I'd picked up in a secondhand shop. I inhaled, bringing back the now-familiar thread of Edward Cullen. I sank into his eyes.

He was still in Forks.

I quickly emerged, leaving him to his privacy, and investigated Caius. They had sent Demetri after me, as I'd expected, but had been turned back. I did not wish to be found; therefore I wouldn't be. There were advantages to having my power.

I sprang up and ran, my legs blurring against a backdrop of barren trees. This was a beautiful place in its loneliness.

I was tired. I hadn't thought that it was possible for me to be so, but I wished I could lie down and rest. I hadn't run much in the last century, and my strength wasn't limitless. Nearly, but not quite.

I kept going. I wanted to reach Forks tonight.

As I ran I scented an animal. I'd grown accustomed to the smell of woodland creatures, but this was something different. A bear, perhaps, or a mountain lion.

It brought on a terrifying, paralyzing wave of thirst. I'd denied it in the presence of humans so long I'd forgotten what it felt like to try and ignore it. It physically hurt me to try and keep away from the animal. I didn't know how to hunt its kind. I was frightened to try.

_What if I can't do it?_ My mind whispered. _What if I can't stand the taste, or am truly just a savage, and I've put my existence in jeopardy to fulfill a fool's errand?_

The animal was gone, just like that, and I fell to the ground, the choice taken from me.

I heaved. If I could've thrown up I would have. My throat felt so dry it was about to crack open. Morbidly I wondered how that would feel. The air on the throat's raw inner lining. I felt… cold. Colder than my own body temperature. I felt as though I'd get frostbite. All the warmth had seeped out of me with the blood that I'd drunk three weeks ago. My shred of warmth had gone with my sustenance.

I heard footsteps approaching rapidly and heard a sharp intake of breath as I was sighted. No. _Let me alone. _Leave me alone like the monster I've revealed in myself.

"It _is _her," I heard, and I opened my eyes to see topaz ones staring into my own. "I saw her in the vision. She's actually here."

I tried to speak, my voice hoarse. The blond behind her scowled at me. "She isn't like us," he said huskily.

Again I tried to form words. "No…" I coughed out. All of a sudden I recognized the girl- Cullen. Alice Cullen. Relief flowed over me. "Help," I croaked.

Her suspicion turned to worry. "What's wrong?" She inspected me, then seemed to understand. "Jasper," she murmured. "Look at her eyes."

I frowned in confusion- what was taking so long? I needed help.

"Why are you here?" Jasper asked, still guarded.

"Be like you," I managed. "Animals. Not humans." That really didn't help. I'd said too much, and it started me coughing again.

Alice's eyebrows were drawn back in surprise. "You… want to join us?"

"Learn from you," I confirmed. "Volterra. Hated it."

She studied me. "I think I remember you. Standing in the far corner." I nodded. "Come on," she said. "Let's teach you to do this right." I smiled weakly at her as she helped me up and said to the blond… Jasper?… "Go find her a deer or something. Then she can hunt for herself."

"Thank you," I muttered, leaning against her as I waited, the insatiable thirst clawing at me. I felt a wave of comfort flow over me as Jasper left. It was welcome. I was too tired to be surprised.


	5. Black and White

**AN: DumdumDUM! I have the story PLANNED OUT! I plan to do ten to fifteen chapters total in this story- depending on how much I exaggerate everything as I write. If you have any subplot ideas, anyone, just send me a message or tell me in a review, and if they're good I'll incorporate them as well as giving you credit.**

**Without further ado, I do not own Twilight or New Moon.**

**Quote of the Chapter: I've been thinking of everything I used to want to be.**

Graceful: Story of a Vampire

Chapter Five: Away From the Sun 

I wasn't sated- not nearly- but the chill in my bones receded to a dull throb, and I could stand. Alice nodded to me in approval.

"Still thirsty?" she asked, undoubtedly knowing the answer.

"Yes," I said, my voice stronger. I had a slight Italian accent; I spoke English very well, but I'd lived most of my life/death, whatever you wish to call it, in Italy.

She waved away the blond man. "Go find Carlisle. I'll help her hunt." She paused. Now that she thought about it, she realized I hadn't given her a name. "What are you called?"

"Maliana," I said quietly, embarrassed. The name was so flowery- so unlike me. Alice's eyebrows rose. "You can just call me Mal," I admitted with a small smile.

No, I wasn't completely better- but I felt like I could be, given time to recover.

"Mal, then. In case you don't remember I'm Alice Cullen." I nodded. I did remember. "Hunting animals is the same principle as hunting humans," she began, for all the world as though this was a school lecture. "But you have to completely let go of your senses in order to be effective. When you're feeding from humans it's simple- take an unwary hiker in the woods. Or, in your case, just pick one from the crowd in the tower room, right?"

I could tell Alice wasn't entirely happy describing all this to me- her morals didn't like it- but I think she just really wanted to help, and I appreciated it.

"I suppose," I said with a shrug. I'd given up those ways, I reminded myself. No need to feel guilty about it anymore.

Was that really true? I wasn't innocent, surely! I may be trying to follow a better path now, but it was centuries late. I'd killed far too many humans in my time. Things weren't that black and white for me, not anymore; I wasn't truly guilty, for I'd thought it to be the only way I could survive; but I wasn't truly innocent, for I'd never really questioned my existence- I'd just gone with the flow. Good, meek Maliana, I thought in disgust. No more.

"So," Alice continued, interrupting my brief meditation, "just let go and think for the animals. A deer, or a bear, a wildcat- although they're rare up here. Once you find one's scent chase it down. It's simple."

I frowned- was it really that easy? Could it be? Could I have saved myself much stress by guessing all this back in Italy? Oh, well, I was here now. I might as well make the best of it- and the best of it included help from true "vegetarian" vampires.

"All right," I said after a moment's silence. "I'll try."

Alice smiled at me. "Good. I'll wait here for you. Can you find it again?"

In response I gave a happy growl and let go.

I was suddenly seeing the world in black and white. It wasn't that my eyes had changed; it was more my perception of things. Before, in Volterra, I'd always just taken a human from the herded tourists. There was no hunting involved. My masters were very lazy… and very effective. I would have to check on their progress in finding me. I didn't think they'd be able to, but they had surprising abilities, and as a low-ranking guard I wasn't privy to all their secrets. No, it was those like Felix and Demetri, whose gift of flattery worked wonders in their career promotions.

Suck-ups. I loved that modern adjective.

The forest blurred around me as I ran. It wasn't running to me. It was the fluid grace of dancing, the heart-pounding euphoria of flying. I was hunting, I realized, as I was meant to.

With my trees of charcoal gray and my sky of white, I took a deep breath, inhaling. Along with the enhanced scents of pine needles and ripe apples came the smell of rich, life-giving blood… and a thudding heartbeat to accompany it. I saw a flash of red- a flash of heat- and my own breathing sharpened. It was as easy as Alice had said!

Wild with the thrill of the chase, I had to resist letting out a whoop of joy. I rushed towards the mysterious creature.

I was upon it before it could so much as blink, my teeth soothing its small moans of shock and fear. I would sing it to sleep. I would give it peace, I thought serenely.

Then I "woke up" of sorts and looked at the creature I'd caught.

A _rabbit_? Well, I suppose I had to start somewhere…

Instead of appeasing me, the insufficient animal only whetted my appetite. Lips dripping with warm crimson blood, I continued the hunt, finding happiness in the ease and freedom of it.

Next I caught a proud, haughty buck, his eyes keeping the honor of his species even in death, his throat a mess of gore. I stared unapologetically down at him when I'd finished. The predator and the prey. I felt a rush of pride. I'd done it. I'd begun my new life.

Alice was waiting on me when I finally made it back to the clearing. I'd gone to a gurgling stream to wash up, wanting to wash away the death on me even as the new life ran through my tired, dead veins, helping me to keep existing another month. I smiled at Alice- the first true smile I'd felt like sharing since… I don't know how long.

"All better?" Alice asked, standing smoothly.

"Much better," I said with a contented sigh.

We began to run, an easy jog for us. "What did you think?" she mused aloud, her spiky black hair blown back with the wind, while my own mousy hair only stuck aimlessly to my face.

"It was incredible!" I exclaimed, with a ringing laugh. She looked at me, startled. "I'd never hunted before. It felt so _free_." I shook my head. "The actual sustenance didn't taste as good- stale, almost- but it was worth it."

"I'm glad you think so…" Alice trailed off, apparently deep in thought. "What are you going to do now?"

I bit my lip. "I'm not sure," I hedged. "I need to think about that. I can't go anywhere near southern Europe for a while. I may roam the States."

"Well, whatever you decide," Alice said with another warm smile, "you can stay with us until you make up your mind, at least. However, you'll have to be very careful. You remember my brother's… girlfriend?"

"The human," I acknowledged. "Yes. Why?"

"Because she's at our house a lot," Alice said frankly. "And she smells good. Can you control yourself?"

"I can," I said with conviction. I believed it. I believed at that moment that I could do anything if I really wanted it.

In that moment we arrived at a beautiful home I could only assume was the Cullens'. "Welcome to our house," Alice said, slowing as she reached the door. "I'm sure my father, Carlisle, will be wanting to greet you."

**AN: I'm focusing more on a few other fics right now, but I'm still aiming to update this one at least once a week. Thanks for reading, and review if you feel like it!**

**--Silviael**


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